The Stories Of My Life
My Short List of Story Names (title, motivation), these are tales that I've lived through and have come out after a beer to friends, family and other hikers. Hope to turn these all into "Tells" some day. They are on this page in the order that they have been told at a Moth style event, and to keep track, there are so many fun things, no need to tell one more than once. They are move to the top with a link if they are written and performed. Else they are in gray-matter storage.
I Just Wanda Get off!: Jumping a coal train, [man's best laid plans might not work, impulsiveness is not alway good, what a girl will drive you to do] (performed Fort Collins June 2017)
Daddy Can I help: The canoe trip and the headache - [Because we want to make life a good experience 4 our kids] - (performed 11/2016 NH Guild, Fugitive Productions July 2017 Arlington)
Bee Careful - (Catching a Swarm of Bees) start with Wife away and says "be safe" ... don't do anything stupid.. (performed at Fugitive Productions 4-23-17)
The Strange Warning - (also title "the blackest Cave Ever Discovered") [Read the signs, or ignore the signs or you are in deep shit.] (performed Fugitive Productions 5/21/2017)
Don't Get All Wet : The Ice Float - "I won't get ALL wet" Byron and Me. Friends together in trouble, stay friends forever, (performed: Doyle's march 2017)
Its like a Canoe (performed at Heather&Reeds wedding, father of the bride story) - [we have to work together]
WATs - Cave and a Date, (Learning to see with the Eyes of your Heart) [performed 10/1/2017 Fugitive Productions Acton, Ma]
Good Intentions (or "Peter Pan" or "Camp Prankster") [performed 12/3/2017 Fugitive Productions Acton, Ma]
What You Can't See Can't Hurt You (Or can it) Also sometimes titles "The Black Spot" Told at True Tales Live 3/27/2018 and
Allagash Falls - ignoring Life's signs, and Guardian Angles, [performed June 26, 2018 PPMTv]
Friends - there are friends of the soul, there are friends that need boundaries. Byron and Sam and I. [Performed 2019 Club Passim 7/2018 ]
REX the night watchman wonders.
I have to find myself,… a quote that ignited my dad in 1972when I quite college to hike the Appalachian trail. Songs: ( Dido) Life for rent.
we ( Ted , Sam ..) drove to Nova Scotia straight through to camp, switching driver while driving..
the wedding kiss and the candle, during my wedding had to concentrate to make sure I remembered so many things, including these
telling purple elephant story to kids and Neil asks questions kids don’t ask as to why the elephant throws the cake away, and I wonder about how to explain the imagination.
Giant falls sun rise, tied to the tree that saved our lives -
The Rocky Ridge Trail to the edge of the cliff - don't be so self centered
I won't go to the emergency room, (thumb in the door) Don't wander in to deep, or don't get into a rut... ( "feeling in a rut on the way to work again, I remembered where there used to be an old dirt road...")
“Adirondack Dreamer” Canoe trip Xtra. man: 12 years old and dropped off, at midnight, motor boat, sail boat, lean-too a little dudley boy [performed 3/2019 at PPMTv ]
Who is following who, who is the smart one in the forest (snow storm & raccoon follower) - [follow your own path, not those of others] - (performed January 2017 at NH Guild)
The holes we step in (snowshoe hike over river) - [stop and listen to those around us (even if they are deer in the woods)]
A shared sunset (bear story) - Love and beauty and wonder is all around you, even bears see it
How not To run in snow shoes (getting stuck)
The Big Growl (bear bag on the peninsula) - forgetfulness, canoe, tenting
The Hikers I've lost (wandering in a blizzard, climbing the tree, crossing the stream) - with Texas Hiker
The Snow Field (a snow field) - [ don't take things for granted or at face value]
Panic in the Quetico (thinking I was lost - never)
Walls of Black Goo (ant island ocean crossing at night)
The black Socks: Wilderness canoe introduction to my little kids and "the black sock" episode, ?Best intentions? Algonquin with Tommy and Heather.
Fire tower 100 mile wilderness scary stories, alone, flickering candle, reading horror, red sunset,
Stacy Brook - Camp Dudley & Nieves 11 year old, instead of afraid of "miners that grab kids" I brought a rock hammer, .. when the minor jumped out of the trees, I just sat there.
Thin Man’s Missery, Bowden cave travel through, key hole, thin mans misery, nut breaker, rotted rope, rain room, rats silo ?Promise?
Hiking with Sam: Appellation trail with Sam, candy corn and coke a colla
The Golf cart that got away
April Fools : Time to get up and get to school, or is it?
April Fools : Art Full be-wary, and the INDIGO code
April Fools : anti-mischief night on Dogwood Dr.
Driving an Egg truck and the sound of an avalanche
April Fools backfire : the IRS letter to Neil, and the waterfall run.
Dudley Little Boy and the Train Ride (fear, anticipation, young troubled Tom, Dad's Good Intentions, then the Skunks, fish in the glass, doors fall etc. Still a little boy inside)
The dinner barge: Mosquitoes Algonquin. canoing, good friends, going crazy, 1 bottle of woodsman’s worth $1,000
The Chase: Allagash canoe dump with colleen. Hanging on an island. Lost canoe,food. Hat. [performed at PPMTv 10/2019]
Broken eggs. Twills eggs driver, pulling out of the garage and multitasking
"Are you sitting down?" question (Cave and the stripped car, west Virginia),
Clapping hike. Stayed out to late, very dark, had to clap and listen for the echo, with a Date,
April Fool's Kayak Paddle: lost paddle , and friends retribution on me
Dating to the same movie 7 times. “Love Story AGAIN”
Rattler Snake in my Tent as a Scout at Philmont Scout ranch, I went in to get my Camera, because counceler said “they are more afraid of you than you are of them”.
Rattler Had to be moved off of the AT cliff trail, I volunteered and climbed up the cliff to behind the snake so the others could distract him….
Rattler on the Trail in Palisaids Park, and Colleen taking my pulse, and a hiker saying “don’t go up that way.
Bryon And Me Stories
Our Sinking Boat Crossings on Shackamaxon lake
Tree Forts Galore, white pines, tying top branches together to make a platform
One Dry Sneaker
OH MY FOOT, where we thought Byron had cut off his toe, but missed and just cut off the end of his shoe
Pine Needle Caves
To Catch a Raccoon, caught him in homemade trap, but it destroyed the box
Black Birch Tea
Halloween Mischief night at Dogwood drive, hose, roof, lights and doorbell
Tree Fort over Dad's Driveway, oops, broken windshield
riding bikes all the way out in-completed route 78 to Pennsylvania
priding bikes miles and miles into Elizabeth city, and stopping to catch crayfish
Collen’s method of Decorating tree with Tincel, one at a time, and my “emualte natures water fall ! Correct !! Method.
Equatory, one room, 2 chairs one light. Visit to my Sponsored child
Attacked by 2 pit bulls, grabbed my dog which saved my life. Reaction: shaking, naucious, anger,
how not to move a beehive at night and take it all apart and change your mind and not have your bee suit all zipped up
My father gave me $1200 of 1976 money for a wedding aniversary present, and I spent it on speakers , I'd be aghast today if a $$ gift to my kids was spent that way.
The Connecticut bridge that collapsed the same day, an hour after I passed over, killing many many people.
Planted clover smile on lawn so that it could be seen from our kitchen window.
Anniversary, I forgot, then and she wants me to buy flowers, (and it was bags of flour)
Heather's car NEOPEN, $800 and no gass tank
setting the vegetable garden paths in the shape of 2011, and surprising family when you could see it using google earth.
Put garden path boards in shape of the year for view with Google from outer space.
Kayak and ant island, lobster, night dinner, fog, black slimy cliffs
Tommy collapses because of a brain tumor, the miracle of a prayer waiting for intibation, and the picture with alien antenna's
Heather and near death, happy Doctors, and just want some ice.
Sam kept stepping-on me, I was a door mat... why,
my little kids Quote “Its Gooder to be badder rather than it is to be gooder”, quote to ministers wife.
Heather Dying of unknown Liver issue, thinking about Liver transplant, Joy of the Doctors, ... Humm, and the Joy of Tommy's Doctors, ...
The long long bike ride with Byron to Delaware water gap on 78, a not yet completed interstate high way. Having to call parents to get us back.
Story of my father's death my night time and putting a glass of whiskey in his hand after he died and putting a glass of whiskey in his hand after he died and taking a selfie cuz I always wanted to have a relationship like that
Gordon College Gordon College and I confess that I also Gordon College and I confess that I also drank a beer and got expelled and years later my parents
Lunch walk with coworkers, she mentioned she got donut sprinkles on her, and there was silence, I tried not to share a story, but then told of marcy the crumb bun and the car air condition
Canoe shortcut to avoid aPortage, througha fish hatchery, down a tangled never before used stream, ended up finally on the big lake with huge wind and almost dying
Phone books, we don't have them anymore
On canoe trip Portage, there is a joke about the troll, who hides things, but gives you things, I got a hat I always wanted, a spare paddle, a hat, I had forgotten, an axe that was always needed
Tears in Ecuador because the orphanage kids were so wonderful, but had no parents!! The intense internal physical pain I felt.
Story about Brook saying "if there's anything I can do", so I asked her to install my honey bees
Tell a db joke about foriegn keys and foreign family members, went flat except with another db person
Talking during meeting, worried over stepping, and worried about Director getting to explain over me, but also about if I was suggesting architecture (from my experience) that I wouldn't be able to explain.
I was late for a meeting 12 minutes I ran and got my coffee but I have those dark sunglasses, and then I reach in my pocket they weren't there, and had parked (great spot I thought) right across from some stairs, but they came up right across from the entrance, but there was a chain that said "don't cross" and I had to walk 50' over and into the building,
Memory of loosing mind on April fools, and phone.
Allagash with Tommy and heather, I showing how to get water and dumped the canoe, at bed time heather had forgotten her sleeping bag and we had to paddle.. Portage.. paddled and find a car buried in the trees, and back.
In college recorded my chemistry professor and used it as a sleep aid
Driving , paneling ripped, going to fast because because of a fight, so angry kicking car
Went back to the car for my pen, found it in my pocket, a few steps into the building and realized my phone was not in my pocket, went back to the car for my phone, phone, found it in my hand.
Dog trying to impregnate hyde, but surgery is 2 days away
Slide show of honeymoon , accidentally had a slide of me naked in front of Mom.
Confusion and frustration trying to help mom organize her meds
Became motivated to prove biology professor wrong when he failed me.i
Nova Scotia, bear really really close, but I wasn't worried a) he was big but in deep water b) he was afraid of us c) colleen was between me and the bear.
Trying to listen to music while colleen takes when I pick her up from nursing school
Funny sleep, Colleen awoke because she was talking in her sleep and bit her tongue.
Felt funny asking about an acronym that every one should know, but it turned out no one knew.
For promise keepers my wife promised 32 y shirts and 32 hats... and she got board and didn't deliver the hats. And we learned that she likes the creative process, not the creation
Tommy and the black socks.
My mom called 911 because of her heart attack, but then had to go change her pajamas.
Drug test, but thought it would be a blood test, when it was a urine test I couldn't go, have a prostrate issue, but they wouldn't let me leave so I chugged water over and over and over till I could go.
My wife asked me what I was eating, I felt guilty because it was a special 6 candy box, and I didn't want to share, I was hiding it even though she was "I'm glad your enjoying your gifti"
Getting entire family on the ice so I could take their picture. 3/3/2019
When teens at the sand fishbungalow, we pretend that one kid was dead to annoy the noisy neighbor,
Come home and find son on later trying to figure out why garage lights flicker.
got an email from TTL, suddenly I was excited, maybe they are going to ask me to do a story, and last night going to the TTL live, wondering if they'd ask me to fast-fill a spot with a story. I stress, and I prepare, and worry am I ready, are my teeth clean, is what I'm wearing going to show up ok on the background. -- and yet it never occured to them, they are all set, they do like to see me, and talk to me, what is up with this ??
Before Marrage, at weddings when I'd have to much to drink I'd say "when we get married" and then dance, and then get mad because I thought she brought it up, because I was to be single, was doomed to not be loved.
Dog barking via alexa to wake up my wife who is late to pick up grand daughter.
sitting on a couch with 2 friends who were reading/not talking, so because of my head ace I closed my eyes for 1/2 hour, but felt guilty because maybe they were being quiet because my eyes were closed, though their not talking was first.....
Pouring grease as a trail into a competitive camping, but it attracted skunks, maybe I enabled the other kid, maybe he didn't know they were skunks, but he pulled the rock away and the door closed with a slam. Woke the leaders and kids who started diving out of the windows from the second bunk.. very funny, (transformative ?? seeing how I enabled a kid ??)
Remembering when Tammy's phone but dialed us, and we called a boy at the party back.
Snow ball fight at Dudley that hit Tommy and damaged his front tooth. How I felt a) fear that the camp I loved and helped shape me would not be good to him, c) that he was hurt and his feelings on a dad son thing would be forever marked bad.
Had to shack hands at church with old acquaintance, felt funny about it, past was uncomfortable, and his smile, should i smile etc.
Saw Vietnam bingo recap historic video, remembrances of those days of waiting and fear.
Hiking down snowy hill, dog chasing snow chunks and almost sliding off the edge 2/16/2019
My dogs, from prince to Heidi
Close encounter of the bear in the canoe, and the moose in quetico.
Sledding of flyer runner sleds in jersey
Tooth fairy, keeping teeth so that when child loses tooth in carpet we can still get them to bed, then one day a kid found a tooth in my car. Xx the conflict about what to say at that moment, truth vs deeper lies.
Guy who believes that it is good to get the tooth pulled from the dentist
what is a voice of reason? several story tellers asked if my name was in the hat, hoping it was, my wife knew that the story was not finished and said that he shouldn't
Lost granddaugher sledding (almost) ran after her shooting down the hill like a rocket and she launched through the woods, I dove, face bruzed and bloody and she said "cool, lets do that again"
Heidi Dog did not want to drink from stream water because she didn't want to get her feet wet, but leaning over to show her, I dropped my phone from my pocket into the stream.
Friends, Mayer's said they'd love to hear my story, then I realized that they had heard it last week. Felt sad, the world is not appreciate me, reminds me of Telling story at church, and next year being asked again for same thing as if I'd never done it before.
Coffee with my 1st date with colleen, and all we could afford was one piece of pie and 2 cups of coffee. And I liked mine hot, and so I mirrored each time she raised hers to her lips, but she would put it down and talk some more.. how much I loved her though.
Charlotte says "I can tell we're in derry" how? "Milla says that he smells the Derry Air"
Heidi Bear taking the rope of the sled and pulling.
Flash back: running on ice at Gordon in the moonlight, watching the cracks squeeze up a little water.
Claudia says that a story is not like the person you are today... so there has been a huge transition event. Not sure it came out as much in the story.. because of the transformation is over tie.
Henry Peabody just popped in, just when I was wondering and thinking about the meaning of life. Should I tell missionary stories?
Being so worried about daughter , having to run from fires at westmont , hacking tv station helicopter video.
Being superman at Marcys birthday, and she was terrified
A wonderful and gross moment, watching a beaver slap the water, then looking down realized Hidi is eating a dead snapping turtle.
Why do I not get all the info, talked with friend at store, and still colleen asked me a question that I should have asked the friend.
Walk around fosters with Hidi, she stubbornly stirs when she wants to follow a dog the other way.
Paddle story neil
When I was little I woke up to hear a mouse swimming in a pot of coco on the picnic table, after helping him out I fell back asleep. Later to be woken up by my family noisily slurring up hat same coco!!! Bleck!!!!
Hair cut srubborn
As a kid punched out a bully, but I cried
I have an old clock, my wife asked from the other room if it was working, not wanting to get up I asked if the second hand was moving, and she asked which hand, so I said it louder, and she said the second from the left or the middle one.
My wife thanked my son for a birthday card I sent because it said thanks Tommy o
Noticed that other kids in 6th grade didn't really know the songs, couldn't read the music, were unsure sso I started Singing other facing page in song book, and one by one all of the kids started moving over to that page till the teacher stopped all because of the cacophony.
Meeting organizer was directing us which reminded me of Ocd at college, sharpening pencils, counting his words per minute till I was scared, end.. quite wanting to be a psychologist, because of what I did to him.
Looking at some ice with cracks remembering lying in the middle of a lake at Gordon in the sunset, watching a crack contract just a little squeezing some water up with a sound like a crack of a bullet .
Band, first finger clarinet
Being at Marcys birth of Dylan, exciting to be asked, uncomfortable because I'm an old man in a room with my naked daughter, but the unbelievable joy after hour and hours when we hold precious Dylan.
Puppy runs 10 feet to catch up in the dark and rolls over on my feet on her back all full of joy!!
Puppy interview time and one picks col and one pick me,
Sitting through the end of the movie, to long, bladder too full, placing a hat dramatically on a table way to slowly, turns the joy of the movies musical to a negative diatribe of storytelling mistakes!
Trying to rake leaves, but so so many still on the tree, beautiful sun, col shaking tree
Jogging in woods with yellow lab, realizing its hunting season ( moved up) had to suffer running whistling and singing calling out "not a deer" msg: do we see suffering as unfair, but if there is injustice, then there is a justice, a truth, a Good, a God.
Cute morning moment, my wife asked if I was awake, still dark, yes I was trying not to think about Unemployment, House Renovations with no money, maybe music, maybe a book, so yes I was awake, just as her hands touched me, she asked when I was going to finish the xxx project, when was the yyy problem status, suddenly the hands seemed cold and hard, and I just wanted to get up.
Talked with man who is on SS and working, brought me back to worry and indecision, instant anxiety and confusion.
Interviewed by 2 Bern-er Puppies to pick one, One picked Colleen and one Picked me, what to do.. (Am I a man of in-decisions, a man of pleasing others, a man of going with the flow)
Dylan trying on my shoes and trying to tie them, how they imitate us
Giving Neil a next child present of a candy bar and coke with the joy and hope of the needed adrenalin.
The snow slope up my Tom with Kerry and Bob Uhler
Sleeping on the subway grates in NY City between the bums and drunks.
Climb down a showy hill and then across field only to find it was the Delaware river with huge crushing chunks of Ice I mistook for a plowed field, perception was really off.
Mail forwarding fiasco because of same names, Thomas M & Thomas N.
Watching Dylan's eyes get huge when an air powered rocket lifts off in our back yard. The wonder of youth.
Philmont Scout Ranch, the low rock cause avalanche. Experiment with the what if..
Cry wolf.. pauls boat runs out of gass within sight of the marina, I told everyone it was on empty, but they didn't believe me.
Met woman on hike, after talk she said be careful, dont let me see you in the NH needs rescue email. And I realized that I watch those too, and I look like an unprepared dope.
Lost son on my Madison hike because he liked girls , how scared and angry I was.
Grandson jumped from rocking chair, he was sure and was making me push my limits on catching him.
Son moved out and the Joy and yet sorrow.
The bobcat that exploded, because I got so "good" at fixing it.
A song come on I say it's from my college days and my wife says she went to his concert with my arch rival, my friend trying to see if they were boy friend girlfriend , Jealousy
The car repair man winks st me over my wife's head when he explains that the carburetor is broken because she hit a pot hole she just admitted to, and she gets all defensive.
Colleen hid in bathroom where mirror was a hole in the wall to scare me, but couldn't stop from laughing, so it was not scarry, it was funny
Colleen got stuck in outhouse, and we thought she wanted privacy.
Sitting on the attic edge talking with Charlotte about nails and colors and insulation, she took a wire and touched the insulation and said see I'm not getting itchy through the wire.
Wandering home depot dazed, loss of job, bathroom down to studs. Hating Bathroom project, Hating Job manager
Stopped by 4 women on the trail, hi which way to rd. They were going in the wrong direction, but didn't seem to care though it was getting dark, whats wrong with the world?
The ghost in the shelter (AT with )
Time in Maine col got locked in out house and I kept kids away thinking she needed time, and she was so mad
Moving a rattler off of the at trail, had to drop pack, climb over and around.
Listening to songs ,beatles with when your 64 and Simon and Garfunkel old men at 70, and I was struck, it should say 95.. 70 isn't old
Watching bears at the long lake town dump, then trying to take their picture and having to run away
Time I went over a waterfall upside down in a kayak because I miss judges current and felt so self assured, bloody nose , wondering if I was
After finals at West Virginia Wesleyan jumped in a river and floated, but sprained wrist so bad couldn't get out of water for hours
Transferred a nuke box of a captured swarm to the cleaned up yellow hive box, realized that it could be just mediums and not deeps, switched while holding in air, had 2 bees go up plants leg, and then found one in my head net.
The new credit card came in with a lot of overnight paper envelopes, when I couldn't find it that night to register it, I looked in recycling and found it there... Moving to fast ?
Accidentally cut up the new credit card that just arrived after just registering it, the person on the phone was laughing at me, -- to much trouble on my mind?
On a date with Colleen at Palisades Park her that there was a rattlesnake up the trail so ran up and caught it brought it back and asked her to take my pulse
Thumb in the car door
Colleen called because bees were swarming, rushed home and all was laid out and ready for more, what a wonderful wife
Tree trim to pole in front yard as teenager. C
Cat on the Adirondack canoe trip
Sabatus and the Indian canoe that wouldn't stop
Snow field...
Swimming west virginia river, after exams, twisting wrist so badly cant get out of river.
Fred fish eyeball fiasco and austin at lake George, hoping he won't tell the other adults I killed fred.
First ever at 4th celebration, social networking
Philmont and the stubborn donkey, and the summer snow storm
Canoe trip with cat Rosie, catching two mating snapper turtles
Marcy walks into garage and screams when there's a car in it because there's never been a car in the garage before
7/13 Colleen couldn't do my aniversary 40 questions why I love you crossword puzzle because "she can't understand me" and my mispellings.
Rope Swings
Camp Peniel rope swing / blood in the water, ?Sam? didn't let go, fooling around, begin cool, / chickened out and held on to long
Catching turtle with Austin 7yrs old, and he reports "look what I caught , although my ears where almost ruptured by the dive to catch the beastie. moment=
Feeding big bass crushed clams by hand in lake George while snorkeling
Paddling across lake george with 4 kids
Thanksgiving turkey trott race with Marcy, switched the RFID from her shoe with mine, so that I’d win the race,… on paper…(and she used it as a teacher to show that the internet is fallible)
scout at philmont, donkey , and the “snow” that was a ripped down sleeping bag, and the crashing rock formation, and the kids dead by lightning the next week, and the chicken patrol, and the no silverware etc
Attacked by 2 pit bulls in Boston
wife doesn’t like my phones name, she takes it differently than me, disturbance as if I’m disturbed individual
Kayak and ant island, lobster, night dinner, fog, black cliffs
little Tommy not getting off the school bus, and going to a friends house, because I had my own ride.
At college after exams just started walking in a straight line for 12+ hours, through hills, through brambles, across a river, and tried to cross a rapid but got swept down and suffered a crushing wrist accident. Finally found some campers who gave me a ride out the muddy roads to a highway. FREE, (zac brown) “just as free, free as we’ll ever be”
Kids stories, not true tales
How to catch a pink elephant
The Gray world (space man on planet)
Stories Private (you can't handle these)
Allagash Falls and Guardian Angles
Rope between Heaven and Earth
Lactose intolerance, Miracle Healing
Mirror across to my soul